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Melfi’s deck in Denver
Where to begin to remember my brother? Did you know about John’s word list? He kept a journal of the very few words he didn’t know, as well as those he knew and loved for their strangeness, their sound, or their surprising definitions. During our last visit in early October we had a typical debate about the definition of one word ( “laconic”) and the discovery of another (“plimsoll”).
John’s passion for fly fishing started early and ran deep. While in high school he convinced our parents to send him on a “college tour” to Cornell, where Steve and I were in law school. He spent the entire visit standing in frozen streams with his fly rod. He never did see the school.
We spent the best kind of time, car time, together in late March touring East Coast colleges with his nephew, Nick. This time John actually saw some schools. Between tours we talked about the things you talk about on a long road trip, and on snowy visit to Walden Pond reflected on the uses of solitude.
John was an enthusiastic eater, a joyful embracer of new experiences, a loyal friend, and a generously affectionate uncle to Nick and Ellie. He gave the best hugs on the planet. He loved Asia deeply, but not long enough.
We miss him terribly and are grateful to his many friends for sharing their vivid stories and fond memories of our loving, lovely John.
John is giving the thumbs up to his sister, Lisa, who took this photo, as she does each year
at the conclusion of the frog hunt in Michigan. This summer tradition has been going on for over 40 years.
John is surrounded by cousins, his brother Michael (in the back row 2nd from the right) and his special niece,
Ellie (in the back row 4th from the left.) The highlight of the trip is going to Dairy Queen for burgers and shakes
afterwards. This photo is from Summer 2012.
–His cousin, Trish
John and I became close friends during his New York law firm years, which means that given the nature of our circumstances there weren’t many beautiful memories. However, through the every day grind I had the honor of getting to know John quite well. We did both go to Brown although we didn’t overlap – back when he went Thayer Street was a dump, and when I went it was glamorous. John was a beacon of joy and wisdom. Every small moment shared with him made my life a little more pleasant. Every big moment was a lifetime memory. May God bless his family, his friends and all others who mourn this great loss.
The wedding. With David and Michael. Sometimes I go back to those pictures and recall this moment. It looked like a very close men’s relation. I spent with them a couple of days and it was a pleasure watching their friendship. I remember John waiting for them to come after their flight to NYC. I remember him being very happy those days with friends.
Posted by Ola Żurada.
Posted on behalf of Trish Narwold:
Here is just a small segment of the Cozy Point gang taken at Torch Lake, Mi in the summer of 2013. Asia and John are there on the right. John’s nephew, Nick, is the “youngster” towering over us in the back row. Who knows where the rest of the gang is–swimming around the raft, playing along the shore, adding another perch to Bear Cub Hideaway (the tree fort with waterfront views)or playing ping pong or shuffleboard. Most likely no one is fishing because John would have been there with them and not here in the photo!
-His cousin Trish
Another one of my favorite pictures… we are both about twenty in this one. During college, we occasionally would sneak off to my family’s house in northern Vermont and go windsurfing in the fall. It was seriously cold up there in October, and the house isn’t winterized (One time it began to snow while we were windsurfing!). We would camp on the floor of the living room by the fire and windsurf and fish and hike during the day. Some of the best, happiest, most care-free days of my life…
This had to be the first the picture of John and me that I posted to the site. It was one of the first pictures of us together–a selfie with an analog camera (you can see my arm and part of the camera reflected in my sunglasses). We were both teenagers, still, in our first year in college, and I was already visiting John for the first time in Irvine, California, only a few months after we met–we were instantly best friends and remained very close for the next twenty-five years. I have vivid memories of the trip, and of this very day, when we were simply killing time walking around in the hills and getting to know one another. John’s presence in my world at that time was life-changing. He was so smart and confident and intelligent and sturdy and FUNNY–exactly what I needed coming off a challenging four years in high school.
Oh my God! I never saw John with long hair!
Alex and I have many fond memories of John. One of my favorites was in March 2010 when we celebrated Asia and John’s engagement at Black Mountain in Brooklyn. The weather that night was brisk, but we were surrounded by good friends, laughter (often John’s) and wine and had a fabulous time.
John’s warmth, humor and curiosity about the world we live in will be greatly missed.